Becoming activated

It’s 6:45am and I’m packing school lunches in the kitchen. I walk past the window and my eye catches on the bird feeder. “You’ve got to be kidding me…” I mumble under my breath, then I yell, “Activate!!” 

Seconds later my son comes sprinting out of his room to the kitchen. I unlock the window and throw it open as he rounds the corner. He sticks his head out of the window and lets out a guttural scream. 

The squirrel binging on the bird feeder panics and takes a giant leap, landing on the ground, and scurries away. 

A squirrel making the long leap off the bird feeder

This bird feeder hangs 10 feet off the ground, suspended between our house and a giant tree. The squirrels learned to tightrope walk along the line suspending the bird feeder to reach the all-you-can-eat buffet of sunflower seeds.

I thought we fixed this problem but squirrels are more determined than I realized. 

A few years back, the squirrels got really good at getting on the bird feeder. They started by tightrope walking, but quickly tired of that and opted to chew through the rope instead, causing the bird feeder to crash to the ground, spilling seed everywhere. 

After discovering the newly dented bird feeder in the backyard and molding the metal mesh back into shape, I performed some aerial acrobatics of my own, sticking half of my body out of the kitchen window to retie the rope and rehang the bird feeder.

The squirrels chewed through the rope again the next day. This continued for weeks.

I got so frustrated with their little game that I decided to take the bird feeder down. The squirrels would have to find food somewhere else, and, unfortunately, so would the birds.

But after months of our birdless backyard, I missed the flutter of wings and their cheerful chirping. Determined to outsmart the squirrels, I found a replacement for the rope: wire coated in plastic. Chew through that you little rodents.

We rehung the bird feeder and enjoyed a couple years of squirrel-free birding bliss.

That is, until a few weeks ago when I saw a squirrel attempt the tightrope walk. I scared it away, hoping that would be it, but the squirrels always come back – getting braver and closer to their target. 

Now we find a squirrel on the birdfeeder every day, multiple times per day. And that means I find myself pounding on windows and yelling into the wilderness every day, multiple times per day until the squirrel jumps down. 

My son thought the yelling and pounding looked fun and wanted to get in on the action. We didn’t discuss how I would let him know the next time a squirrel was on the feeder, but when the moment came, so did the word “activate.” Without missing a beat, my son came running. 

The next day I saw another squirrel on the bird feeder.

“Activate!!”

Seconds later, not one, but two sets of feet came scrambling to the window, first my son, then my daughter, clapping and screaming at the squirrel. 

The next day my husband saw a squirrel and activated too.

The squirrels may be persistent but now my entire household is ready and waiting for the signal: Activate. 

P.S. If you enjoyed this, share it with someone!

P.P.S. This song from the Mandalorian pops in my head every time someone in my house yells “activate”: Troopers by Ludwig Göransson.

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Thanks to

Emma Dorge

for finding the time for this one.