December birthdays: unfortunate or unexpected gift?

My birthday is three days after Christmas. This revelation is often met with a sympathetic smile followed by the question: “Does that mean you get less presents?” 

In middle school, a few friends asked me if they could give me only one present since my birthday was so close to Christmas. “Of course,” I replied with a sly smile. “When would you like me to give you your gift: at Christmas or your birthday?” That shut down that suggestion pretty quickly.

Photo Credit: Nathan W Pyle

My parents were always great at making sure Christmas was separate from my birthday and would give me presents for each. But I’ll admit, the present thing is tough for both the December birthday person and their loved ones.

With a December birthday, we get all of our presents in one month, which means we have to buy our own socks and underwear in June. Not the most exciting purchase, but admittedly, it’s not the most exciting present either (sorry mom!). And for the loved ones of December birthdays, they have a lot of presents to think about and buy in one month. (My poor husband has three December birthdays to figure out…)

December birthdays also take some finessing when it comes to parties. First, there’s the guest list. Friends and family are often out of town or at holiday parties of their own so not everyone on the invite list can make it.

Then there’s the question of how to celebrate. My mom got creative with my birthday parties: an ice skating rink, a New Year's Eve sleepover. But I would always fantasize about a summer pool party that was never going to happen, splashing in the cool water under the hot sun with my friends. 

When I was about to turn 11, I pined for a pool party, so I asked my mom if I could celebrate my birthday in June instead of December. But I changed my mind before she could give me an answer. I decided I didn’t want to wait that long to celebrate, even if that meant the closest I would get to a pool was an ice rink.

Festive Fortune

The truth is, I have a secret to share: I love my December birthday. 

It’s relaxing. I don’t have to deal with any of my usual daily commitments. As a kid, school was closed for winter break, and as an adult, I take the day off. I spend my birthday strategically using the birthday coupons I receive: Why yes, I will take a free chai latte from Starbucks followed by a free slice of cake from La Madeleine. Sometimes I’ll see if friends or family are around to hang out for a bit. And I spend some portion of the day walking outside bundled up in my winter coat and gray cable knit hat with my blue electric hand warmers in my pockets. It’s a day focused on appreciating what I have.

I think anyone with a December birthday is lucky. There’s magic in December birthdays. There’s a kinship and camaraderie. There’s a uniqueness to them. 

When I find out someone else has a December birthday, I feel a connection because they know how December birthdays are perceived: unfortunate, and they know the reality: they are an unexpected gift.

December birthdays have built-in cheer. There’s a festive feel in the air. People are out and about even though it’s cold. Family and friends visit from out of town for holiday festivities. As a kid, that meant I got birthday presents from those visiting relatives who wouldn’t normally send birthday gifts. As an adult, it means more quality time with loved ones who happen to be in town around my birthday.

With my strong love for December birthdays, it was only cosmically fitting that my son would be born in December. His due date was very close to Christmas, and I hoped he would be born a little before the holiday so he could have his own day to celebrate. Thankfully, he was. 

Like his mother, it didn’t take long for my son to love his December birthday too. Everything feels cozy. There are dazzling decorations everywhere. And our family does fun things only reserved for Christmas time: 

Transforming our house for the holiday by putting Christmas lights in every room, busting out the festive pillows, and wrapping all of the photos on our walls like presents. 

Going to Midnight Madness where stores stay open late offering cookies and hot chocolate with musicians playing festive music out on the streets. 

Driving around different neighborhoods “ooo”-ing and “ahh”-ing at colorful Christmas lights while eating popcorn and listening to Candy Cane Lane on repeat. 

These holiday traditions create connections that add to the magic of December birthdays.

So, when you find out someone has a December birthday, remember that it’s not unfortunate, it’s an unexpected gift. And speaking of gifts… get them separate presents for Christmas and their birthday. Whether or not you choose to wrap them both in Christmas paper is up to you.

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And my gratitude goes to…

Karena

and

Emma Dorge

for helping me get this into shape.