Learning how to parent from a Roomba

“To give — very, very temperamental Roomba. We’ve tried replacement parts and constantly get error messages and it just won’t run properly. Maybe someone handy knows a fix or wants to give it a shot?”

That was the fateful post on my local Buy Nothing Group that brought me and a temperamental Roomba together. 

Photo credit: Brooke Smith

We brought the Roomba home and began the setup: 

1. Plug in the home base

2. Connect to Bluetooth

3. Connect to wifi

4. Name your robot

My husband, son, and I sat in the living room silently as we tried to think of names. We started throwing out ideas: DJ Roomba to pay homage to Parks and Rec, Sweepy McSuckface compliments of ChatGPT, and Steve because that’s the first name that popped into my 7-year-old son’s head. We eventually landed on Roomba Rob and started getting to know each other.

An error notification immediately popped up in the app. My son and I researched what the error meant and began fixing our temperamental Roomba Rob. We cleaned out the rollers and dusted off the sensors and then Roomba Rob was ready to get to work.

We set Roomba Rob to do a mapping run to patrol each room to map out the boundaries. As part of the mapping run, the Roomba app recommended clearing obstacles out of the way: the stray sock, cords haphazardly lying about, dog and kid toys everywhere. We went from room to room to pick up all the stuff that usually resides undisturbed on the floor. We made choices: clothes on the floor? Pick those up. Dog bed in the middle of the room? Leave it so that Roomba Rob will know it’s a permanent fixture and can work around it.

We watched Roomba Rob work its magic. We were in awe of how it could move and navigate a room.

Not long after getting started, Roomba Rob’s “magic” started to change to my panic. I winced as I watched Roomba Rob plow headlong into a chair leg and then back up into a table leg then hit the chair leg again as it got stuck in a tight space. I wanted to jump in to help – to get it unstuck and redirect it to another spot where it would fit better. But, as I stood up to help Roomba Rob, I realized that my “helping” would only delay the inevitable.

Roomba Rob needed to bump into things – that’s the only way it can learn where things are. I laughed at this revelation because my mind immediately went to my kids… who also sometimes have to bump into things to realize their boundaries. 

Like Roombas, kids need boundaries, too. My husband and I recently had a conversation about this and how much knowledge we should pass on to our kids versus letting them figure it out on their own. I’m of the mindset that my kids should try and find out, even if they get hurt in the process. My husband thinks that we should share what knowledge we have with them so they can learn from that first. We went back and forth on this and then started listing examples of when our kids learned “the hard way.”

There was the time when our son was learning how to ride a scooter at the age of four and I let him go down a hill before he was ready. Blue and red helmet strapped snuggly on his head, he put his right foot on his scooter and pushed off with his left. He got about halfway down when I realized he was going very fast and didn’t know how to stop. He hadn’t learned that yet. He hit a bump on the sidewalk and tumbled off his scooter. Tears ensued followed by lots of hugs and bandaids. That day, my son learned to be more cautious.

Then there was the time when our daughter was learning how to walk. Wanting to give her new terrain to explore, I took her on a walk in our neighborhood. She giggled as she explored the vastness of our neighborhood sidewalk. Enjoying herself and her freedom, she picked up speed. I pulled back, wanting to give her space to learn and explore. She tripped on a bump in the sidewalk and fell face first into the concrete. Her giggles turned to cries and I rushed over, picked her up, and dusted her off. I’m not sure if my daughter learned anything that day, but I did.

The list of “incidents” goes on. The common denominator to my kids getting hurt? Me.

A Roomba Realization

It wasn’t until I watched Roomba Rob teetering over the edge of the stairs as it searched for the boundary line that it clicked for me. Roomba Rob may bump into things and teeter over stairs, but it has programming to help it process information as it bumps and teeters so that it can learn: if the infrared sensors can’t detect the ground, stop because you’re probably at the top of stairs. It has some prior knowledge of what to look out for.

I was starting to come around to my husband’s way of thinking… please don’t tell him.

I should have been the “programming” for my kids providing them with prior knowledge so they would know what to look out for as they explored: 

If you want to scooter down a hill, you first need to know how to stop.

If you want to run on a sidewalk, look for bumps and uneven pavement as you go.

Instead, I let them learn without the benefit of my prior knowledge and they have the scars to prove it. 

Just like with my Roomba, as a parent, I can clear obstacles when my kids are getting started. I can make sure they have relevant prior knowledge before letting them bump into things. Then, hopefully, they can emerge on the other side of their exploration feeling more confident in what they learned and mapped out and they won’t have as many bumps and bruises to show for it.

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And my gratitude goes to…

Emma Dorge

and

Karena

for taking the time to give feedback on my article. Thank you!