My little time capsule

“And with that, I love you, Brooke! Happy birthday!”

That was the closing line of the letter I wrote myself a year ago. And with that I unintentionally started a tradition of writing myself a letter to read on my birthday.

I wrote my first birthday letter 3 years ago:

Dear Future Brooke,

Europa Pools and Hallucinogentics are the soundtrack as I write this. [My son] convinced me to bake a birthday cake for myself with him and then he ended up doing minimal work and being minimally interested. We both ended up crying a little.

…

For my 35th year, I want to be interesting, but not to other people...to myself. I want to do things that I think are interesting and will push me. So how will I be interesting to myself next year? I'm not sure. I want to do fun things that feel a little uncomfortable. I want to try things that seem weird. I want to have experiences. We'll see what the next year holds for me! Go forth and be bold, Brooke! Talk to you in a year :)

In my next letter, I reflected on the original letter and compared my wishes to my reality:

Dear FutureMe,

Now I’m 36. Reflecting on 2022, I think I was bold, but maybe not in the way I intended from my 2021 letter. I was bold in asserting and advocating for myself at work. I also took a leap to teach a new course, which was challenging but a great learning opportunity.

…

The things I want out of my next year are being more in the moment, putting myself first (like going to the bathroom before doing something for the kids instead of taking care of them first so I can be more comfortable and present), and finding balance.

Alright, Brooke. It’s late so I’m going to stop writing now. Go into your next year with being present, being an advocate, and finding balance.

This year I was surprised to receive a birthday letter this year because I forgot I wrote one:

Dear FutureMe,

Happy 38th birthday from your 37 year-old-self! Reflecting on 2023, this year was a doozy. I started off with a NY resolution to have fun whenever I can and then got sucked into endless medical issues and doctor's appointments as I transitioned into a caretaker role.

…

For my 37th year, here are my hopes:

• I hope I continue writing and reading

• I hope that I find balance between work, writing, family, friends, sleep, and relaxing

• I hope that as a family we make a lot of fun memories

• I hope [my daughter] continues to blossom

• I hope [my son] keeps his fun, clever and silly spirit

• I hope [my husband] finally “makes it” as a streamer

• I hope my family has good health

• I hope I become comfortable in my body

• I hope that I’m happy overall

And with that, I love you, Brooke! Happy birthday!

It helps that my birthday falls at the end of the year, which tends to be a moment of reflection as I look towards the new year. But unlike New Year's resolutions, which tend to be about self-improvement, my birthday letters are snapshots of the year and my birthday specifically, how I feel about it, and what I hope happens next – my own little time capsule.

They’ve become a true gift.

And the cherry on top is the send off I give myself each time: Go forth and be bold; Be present, be an advocate, and find balance; I love you, Brooke.

That last one shocked me. I tell others I love them but never myself. That was bold.

I haven’t written my birthday letter for next year yet but hopefully I won’t disappoint with the send off… Keep on keeping on; Be your best self; I still love you, Brooke!

I am open to suggestions.

Happy New Year!

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Thanks to

Karena

and

Emma Dorge

for always taking the time to make suggestions!